I thought I'd post on a more positive note today. I want to say, loudly and clearly, that I'm happy. Not that things couldn't be better. Not that there aren't lots of worries in the future - a new baby is after all, only 13 weeks away now. My job will evaporate in just over a year and I didn't get a new job I interviewed for a few months ago. I don't know what I'll be doing in a year. But despite those uncertainties (and worries about my wife's job as well, though mostly because of how dependent we are on her income, which even now is more than twice my own), I am happy.
This became most apparent to me yesterday when, as usual, I was home with my now two year, three month old daughter, sitting on my bed with the TV on, relaxing after work, waiting for my wife to come home (she usually comes home late). My daughter was in a very giggly mood, as she often is, and I was playing with her, swinging her around, tickling her, and just in general enjoying being with her while she enjoyed being with me. And I felt so very very happy. The feeling I had was that this was one of the happiest times in my life and that I'll probably be thinking back on this for a long time (this period in my life) as one of my happier times. Not that more happiness isn't to come. I'm sure it is. (I sure hope it is!) But that right now, I'm thankful and grateful and just plain happy that things are the way they are right now. Sure, in the future, we will have issues to deal with, but right now, we have a warm house, plenty of food, and plenty of quality time as a family. Those are the things that matter.
And joy of joys, I get to go pick up my daughter from day care in a few minutes and start another fun evening. Sure, it is work - picking her up, feeding her, getting her washed, and all of that. But it is so worth it. And the happiness is at a level higher than I think I've ever felt. I can't ever remember feeling so happy and content as I do in my life right now. So I'm going to savor it and enjoy it while it lasts and, at least for now, at least in good doses, not worry about anything else.
Reminder
12 years ago
4 comments:
Awww...good for you dbb! I'm glad to hear that you're really happy in your life and with your family right now. Children do bring a lot of joy, don't they? I think it has something to do with the fact that they're so present and they help us to be in the moment too.
Thanks Beansa - it is a good feeling. It is amazing the joy a child can bring. And yes, the moment seems to be the focus of a two year old, though she is starting to talk about the future at times - "mommy comming soon!"
Glad to hear things are going well. Given your last post but one, I won't wish you Merry Christmas - how about Happy Solstice? Even you admit there's a solstice...
It's funny you say that - friends I've had for a long time (and whom I see every week gaming, actually) are also atheists and they just celebrate winter solstice - which, incidentally, is actually what Christmas originally was - it was like the most popular holiday of the year, so popular that Christian authorities couldn't ban it - so they co-opted it. It always makes me chuckle when I see people complain about the "original meaning of Christmas" being lost. They don't know how true that is.
But thanks for the sentiments! We do exchange gifts and everything else - I think we'll just tell our daughter (and soon son) that we celebrate Winter Solstice under the original meaning of the holiday, like my friends do.
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