When you spend years learning the secret ways to discern the ghost of Patriarchy that stands behind every social exchange, it can come as a shock to discover that men are human beings. That they actually have emotions - just like women! That they have desires far deeper, and far more nuanced than the brutish need for sex and power. Wow!
And so that notion is what bothered me - that men somehow have to prove their humanity to women in certain feminist discussions I've seen - usually from the start. You see it in how a comment is often assessed initially by the gender of the commenter. An insight or criticism is taken much more seriously if it is from a woman rather than a man. (And in some cases, it is rejected altogether, often with an insult, if it is from a man).
Which brings me back to my earlier discussion about why I thought the word "feminism" really needed to give way to something more about gender equality and fighting traditional gender roles. But I don't want to rehash all of that. Mostly, I'm just giving some kudos to STF for an insightful post.